I told you early on that in one of the first meetings between John and I that John asked me “why do I have cancer?” This is about the second and third time he asked me. The second time I told him I did not know. But as you will read later, the third time I had an answer for him.
John was frustrated when I told him I did know why. He did not get angry or upset, just disappointed that I didn’t have the answer. I guess I could have told him it was probably caused by all the carcinogens in the air we breath. Heck, I could have used any of the bullsh*t stories that people tell you when you have a terminal illness… but I didn’t.
John was a Child of God, I could only wish to be as strong in my faith. Early on I realized that John had this special relationship with God, and I knew that nothing but a very reasonable answer to the question was going to ease his mind.
God and John
I said that John had this special relationship with God, and here are a few reasons why I say that:
- On several occasions, John would look in the corner of the room, whether it was his hospital room, or at his house. John held conversations with whoever it was that he saw there; the only problem was one else could see who he was talking to. But it is my belief that because of his strong faith. God granted John the opportunity to talk with family and friends who were already in heaven to ease his mind.
- John also had conversations that struck me as though he was talking directly to God or Jesus, but he was getting responses.
- And finally, God provided me with the answer to “the question”.
The answer to John’s question “why do I have cancer?” came from our pastor, Pastor Matt. I had approached Pastor Matt and explained my dilemma. After a few minutes of thought, this is the answer Pastor Matt provided for me to tell John.
He reminded me of the crowds of people who always surrounded John. He reiterated John’s strong faith and how he lived that faith daily. As Pastor was speaking, the light came on
He said “Bob, if you put together John’s faith with all those people who come to see him, think of all the ministering he is doing, without even realizing it.” He added “the way John is handling his cancer, his impending death, and all that entails, he is showing all those people not only how to live a Christian life; he’s also teaching us how to die in peace and confidence knowing Christ is waiting on the other side.”
After sleeping on all Pastor had told me, I could not wait to see John again. That next day I went to see John, and to my amazement there was hardly anyone there that morning. John was down in the family room with the kids, and I asked the kids if I could talk to their dad alone for a few minutes, so they went upstairs.
I pulled up a chair right next to John and I said “my friend, I have an answer to your question regarding your cancer.” I then explained to him what Pastor Matt told me; and as I was relaying the information, you could see a look of total peace come over John’s face.
He didn’t cry, but he was close; he didn’t shout for joy, but I think he wanted to; but what he did do was smile at me with a smile I can still see today, and he shared his feeling of peace. I thanked God for the answer, and I slept very well that night.
May we all enjoy